So, I got a Something Awful account, whatever. Which means I can read the forums that are invisible to outsiders. Little did I know of the horrors that lurk underneath.

Long story short: retard in Virginia develops a mannequin fetish that culminates in his eventual ownership of a small harem of RealDolls as well as a paraplegic girlfriend. The delusion is so complete that he thinks his dolls are real, thinking, breathing and eating beings, developing a massive persecution complex on the way. Needless to say he posts his every experience on various blogs and MySpace profiles.

The Something Awful goons find his blog, and hilarity ensues. At first. About a day into it, someone new enters the fray: a Canadian entrepreneur who sells his own stuffed representations of women, and who his allegedly working on a "documentary" using state monies. After the goons dig, we learn that he has been spending time "researching" by acquiring a "family" of sex puppets and even the doll prop from Lars and the Real Girl. All using Canadian taxpayer's money. Said entrepreneur throws a few vague and unsubstantiated legal threats at SA, which are promptly ridiculed.

The thread has turned into a shitfest of hilarity and depravity, exploring just how far this sexual obsession takes people. The whole thing went from  to to to . I feel like I lost a major part of myself tonight.

Time for a stiff drink. Or a kick in the testicles. I'm not sure which.